Odds of Survival
by Person With Many Aliases
Summary: Tomoe Mami lives. This is not a good thing.


"Puella Magi Madoka Magica" property of studio SHAFT.

Original Character property of author "Person With Many Aliases"

* * *

I…

I… feel odd.

Where am I? It's warm. I'm buried in such unusual warmth. It leaks all over me.

I can't see. I can't taste.

Everything feels dull. Where am I?

Is there anyone there? Can anyone hear me?

"Only me."

What? Where are you? Can you hear me?

"You can't really see me. You're a bit of a mess right now, heh, heh. Don't think too hard about it. I can only hear you, and you can only hear me. You're not really talking right now, you see, nor are you really hearing. Do you want to know where you are?"

Please. Who are you?

"You're on a table, right now. You're buried, and I am trying to find you, while I'm eating. This place is kind of going bad now, without anyone to take care of it. In the plate to my left, there is a wonderful devil's food cake, creamy, airy layers woven of chocolate and cream. In the plate to the right of me was once your right leg. I'm cutting the foot off at the ankle right now, since there are too many bones."

I don't understand. You're…

"Oh yes, my name, heh, heh. My name right now is Seraphine, but that doesn't really indicate my true identity, if you're wondering that that is. I've forgotten myself. I'm Orpheus' distrust as he turned around. I'm Rasputin's religious enlightenment. I'm John Booth's martyrdom for his cause. I'm eating your leg. You must have worked out. So much thigh, heh, heh."

That's impossible. I'm… I don't feel…

There was a tremor.

"Of course you don't feel this cleaver dividing flesh and bone. Pain is part of a series of electrical signals, interpreted by the spinal cord and brain. They're not really working right now. Spine bones are good for soup, I believe… heh, heh, heh… Chinese Ox Tail Soup."

But I can't be dead. I'm still _here._

"Well, I didn't say you're dead. You're just currently having aspirations to being a hamburger."

This is impossible. You must be a Witch. This is a trick. I… have to kill…

"You must be trying to kill me. Sorry, I can't see what you're doing exactly. Oh, if you could taste this caramel custard…"

I'm trying to reach… reach into myself… obtain one of my weapons and point… aim…

Something is knocked over.

"Ah, now you've done it. Spilled my Mint Julep. For that, I will savor your kidneys, heh, heh, heh…"

Something reached into the warmth and pried something free. Something else grabbed the weapon I created, and I couldn't hold onto it.

"Ah, Tinker, Tailor… Soldier, Sailor… My warhead punishes all without distinction. What a fine construction from your soul."

Seraphine said it between swallows.

How are you doing this? How can this be?

"Do I have to spell it out to you? Your body was destroyed. That Witch tore you to pieces. It bit off your head. It swallowed your body. It chewed you up, and then died, spilling you over this table like a buffet for me. I couldn't help myself. This realm is going past its expiration date, and I don't want all this food to go to waste. So much cake. So much meat. Sweet things. Salty things. How could I say no when my favorite dishes are on the same table?"

Seraphine reaches into me and pulls out another… my body? Destroyed? I… I…

I can't feel. There is no heartbreak without feeling a heart. There is lightheadedness without a head. I can't choke up without a throat. I cannot feel sick without my stomach. There is just emptiness at the shock.

I am… still alive.

"Heh, heh. The stuffed doll didn't tell you, I bet. He really should make things more clear. It's called a Soul Gem for a reason, bodiless Puella Magi. There's no point fighting Witches if you died every time your body keeled over. That cheap merchandise trinket you carried around with you all the time was really you… Snghk… heh, heh…"

Then all the time… if the Soul Gem is what I truly am… moving my soulless body around on invisible strings… I am…

"I think I told you not to worry about it. There's a girl who's all depressed because she thinks she's a zombie. But I don't find that an accurate term, because that means your bodily functions wouldn't work. You wouldn't cry, or bleed profusely, or all that fun stuff. You are a meat puppet. Snghk… and the important part is that your body stayed fresh up till now."

…What are you? Are you a Witch?

"Heh, I don't know what I am, but I'm not a Witch. I know I'm horrible, and cruel, and evil. You know about the food chain? I think the food web model is more accurate. Humans killed by Witches, Witches killed by you, He collects the Grief Seeds… but he's just the next level. I'm… somewhere up there, too. I think. I don't care. As long as I can go where I want, eat what I want, and collect what I find is interesting."

What do you want from me?

"Oh, that depends on the next few seconds, now that I'm full."

Something dove into the warmth again, and fished around. I could feel myself sift amongst…

Sift amongst myself.

And then it wraps around me. I feel the grip tighten and it pulls me, pulls what must be the real me out of what must have once been me.

I am held aloft, and I concentrate for a moment. I can see its stare at me. It, so called Seraphine, has eyes. It's always smiling. Its features are mixed with crumbs, with cream, with fat, with sinew. It wipes away the mess from at least its mouth, in a show of decorum.

It puts me down on the hard surface, upright, and I can't move at all. I can feel the air. It's cold.

"I'm about to test a theory. It's been proven a lot, but I'm still wondering if you'll die."

What? What are you doing! ? I strained my "sight" as much as I could.

It's picking up a bloody cleaver. It had been embedded in a part of me, but I couldn't see where. It looks at it. It looks at me. It's always smiling.

Why! ? Stop! Why are you doing this! ?

"Ah, human redundancy. Because I'm testing something. Don't worry, this won't take long."

It's lifting the cleaver above me, and I can't move. I can't scream. I… can't do anything but hide my vision, and hope it will be quick.

There is an impact. The world is shakes around me, and there it the sound of metal clattering away.

Seraphine cackles. It comes off to me as shrill and frenzied. It laughs crazily, as it finds something so funny.

"Ha, ha, ha! It broke! It broke when it shouldn't have! I bet because I cut into the bone too much! That's what logic will tell me! The cleaver breaks on you when it shouldn't have! Ha, ha, ha! I knew it! You're one of those types, Puella Magi! _HA HA HA HA!_"

My body didn't shatter a second time. The toy like features did not kill me again. It laughs at my survival.

"Let me guess! Let me guess! Oh, oh, let's see… you must have been dying when the stuff toy found you! You must have been, and you couldn't talk. You were bleeding out. You were a mess, and all you could hear is his question, over and over. You answered, "I don't want to die alone"! Right? I'm right, aren't I? I'm right! Tell me I'm right!"

You know? How?

"Simple statistics! People die alone, all the time! The stuffed toy finds girls like you, all the time, who are dying alone! Of course, you made that wish, otherwise we wouldn't have our fated encounter. And the power born from that wish, Luck!"

Luck…?

She picks me up, and holds me up into the cold air. She proclaims so loud, in love with her voice.

"Luck! No matter what, you can't die. You won't die. No matter how many bodies you go through, how many cleavers go to your Soul Gem, no matter how many teeth enclose you! The real you won't die. Your soul tossed between the teeth, untouched as your body was ground up! Against all odds! Your real body will never be touched! You won't die alone. You won't die!"

Is that how I… that is why I am…

"You won't die alone. You'll just live alone! Heh, heh, heh…! That stuffed toy and his ways!"

Alone… Alone…!

Sayaka! Madoka…! I… I can't move anymore. I can't do anything. If I could just see them again…

How did things end up like this…

Seraphine chuckles as she brings me close, staring at me intently.

"I know all about your wish because you're not the first Puella Magi who's been left out here, trapped and unable to move. The ones who always survive are always the ones who wished to not die alone. Every time I've met each of you. You're so cute."

I feel her drag something over my body. It's wet and flexible.

"Now your cleaned up of all that blood, heh. You know, every time I see one of you lying around, I can't help it. We're going to be spending a lot of time together, from now on. You and all the others. In the closet. Snghk."

What's going to happen to me…?

"Oh, we'll find out tomorrow. Maybe if you entertain me enough, I'll stitch together a dollie for you walk around in."

I feel the air rush past me as we drop through the air, off the table. Most likely leaving the remains of me behind.

I can't move on my own. I can barely feel. I'm helpless.

Sayaka…

Madoka…

If I could see you again...

The movement pauses.

"Oh, that's right. I can't leave those cakes and meat behind. I better wrap it up. I bet there's enough of you left to make bacon. Snghk. Heh, heh."


End file.
